16 December 2012 @ 09:58 pm
How to bullshit bullshit.  
Bullshitting an essay is easy enough. Put down shit that sounds coherent.

Bullshitting a bullshit essay requires more thought.

I was prompted to write an essay with the title "Why I Love Being a Catholic Student." Or, "Why I Love Catholic Education." You know how I feel about that.

I had a brilliant, provocative, Freddie Lyon-style "Catholic school fucking sucks" epic planned, with verbatim from saintly Catholic teenagers and an explanation of why I still go that I hoped would disturb people. Because this is hypocrisy. This is the world, bite-sized. I have to be desensitized.

However, I don't want to be expelled.

So, I simply looked for the positive things and dragged them into paragraphs. First, we  just did the overture to The Messiah. Secondly, I can sing Christmas carols. Thirdly, we can further analyze literature and ignoring Christian allusions placed by Catholic authors is hardly thorough analysis. However, I did have to do something bold.

I quote my second paragraph: "I feel like the way that religious freedom is enforced in other environments borders on censorship. I have issues with censorship that I will not elaborate on. No one should be silenced for saying something that has the potential to make others uncomfortable." The entire paper is in gray text. The last sentence of this paragraph is left black.