Things Fall Apart. Nice. Great. Okay.

Person I unfortunately know: "I think I get why we're reading it, but I don't think it's really pertinent to our lives."

HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE.

IT'S FUCKING PERTINENT, YOU MOTHERFUCKING IGNORANT BASTARDS. THIS IS WHAT YOUR PEOPLE HAVE DONE. THIS IS YOUR HISTORY. YOU HAVE BLOOD AND THE DEATH OF CULTURES ALL ACROSS THE WORLD ON YOUR HANDS BECAUSE YOU IMMACULATE, ENLIGHTENED EUROPEAN CHRISTIANS WANTED TO CLEANSE THE WORLD OF EVERYTHING THAT YOU THOUGHT BELOW YOU. THIS IS WHAT THE WORLD SEES WHEN THEY SEE YOU. YOU DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH BECAUSE OF YOUR PRESUMPTION.

But of course you don't understand that. You even look down on the once sacred, cherished traditions of these people. “That's Africa,” you say with a sneer. They lived in their own community, away from you. You went out. You sought them to force them to change. You don't understand.

The worst part of all of this is that YOU CAN'T READ THIS OBJECTIVELY. YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN. I KNOW WHAT YOU SEE. I WAS RAISED ONE OF YOU. You see this resistance to conversion and the lives lost in said resistance as a sad side effect to a grander end. After all, why stop the spread of your great religion? It's only good. A culture is eroded away, but they've found God. WE WERE FINE FUCKING DANDY WITHOUT GOD. WE. I AM MAKING THIS PERSONAL.

As an obedient little Catholic, I was able to shrug off the Spanish colonization of the Philippines that basically forced all of my ancestors to reject the animism they thought holy for fear of persecution on their own land. I was able to shrug off the possibility that my female ancestors were raped by Europeans after being coerced into a marriage ceremony they could not understand and never could have consented to. I was able to shrug it off because that's how I found God. Never mind that it was forced upon those before me by strangers. I'm a Catholic because of it. I'm a Catholic because a self aggrandizing white man saw an “exotic” Asian woman of a child birthing age and took her. I'm a Catholic because mestizo children were taken from their mother's own identity and planted into a completely alien culture and belief system before they could think. I was okay with that. I accepted it as another trouble in my heritage that I should be proud of. It was okay. IT' S NOT FUCKING OKAY. IF THERE'S ANYONE IN ALL OF SPACE AND TIME WHOSE PARENTS I WANT TO COCKBLOCK, IT'S FERDINAND MAGELLAN.

AND AMERICAN IMPERIALISM. IS IT BAD OF ME THAT I HATE MCKINLEY SO MUCH THAT THE BALLAD OF CZOLGOSZ IS MY FAVORITE SONG FORM ASSASSINS. I HATE HIM SO MUCH. I REALLY AND ACTUALLY HATE HIM. WE DID NOT NEED YOU TO FUCKING UPLIFT, CIVILIZE, AND CHRISTIANIZE US YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

DO YOU WANT TO BRING UP RELIGION YOU MOTHERFUCKING CATHOLIC I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO TELL YOU MY RATIONALIZATION ABOUT THEISM BECAUSE YOU WON'T FUCKING LISTEN EVEN THOUGH I AM NOT CALLING YOU WRONG BUT YOU ARE SO FUCKING CLOSE MINDED THAT I WILL NOT WASTE MY BREATH

I AM NOT TELLING YOU THAT I HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE WHITE. I HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE STUPID. I HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE WHITE. YOU ARE SO STUPID THAT YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT YOUR OWN IDENTITY.

I'M MOST PISSED BECAUSE YOU ARE EXACTLY LIKE THESE PEOPLE. ASSUMING YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE EGGING ON THOSE ANGLICAN MISSIONARIES BECAUSE YOU APPARENTLY BELIEVE THE SAME GOD. YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT OKONKWO'S CONFLICT BECAUSE IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER TO YOU BECAUSE HE REJECTED YOUR GOD; HE'S NO ONE IMPORTANT. JUST ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE STUBBORN NON BELIEVERS.

I FUCKING HATE THIS COMPLAINT: "The first part was excessive. I skipped through most of it. It wasn't really relevant to the rest of the book. I thought the missionaries would come sooner."

DO YOU HEAR YOUR FUCKING ATTITUDE THIS IS THAT BEAUTIFUL CULTURE BEFORE YOUR KIND TOUCHED IT AND YOU DON'T GIVE ENOUGH SHITS TO CONSIDER THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, THEY HAD A LIFE BEFORE THEY "FOUND GOD"

YOU ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AS THOSE ANGLICAN MISSIONARIES. DISREGARDING WHAT IS AND NOT GIVING A SHIT AND NOT SEEING THESE PEOPLE AS PEOPLE AND I HATE YOU ALL AND YOU DISGUST ME

When you say you don't like this book, you say it's because it's irrelevant to you.

When I say that I'm not impressed by this book, it's because I've seen this attitude just from sitting in a private, white-dominated Catholic school. It's because I am enduring the effects of this attitude. It's because I know this shit already and it is absolutely nothing new.

It's so relevant to you. It's a portrait of who you are. This is what you are in the world.
 
 
Feeling: pissed off
 
 
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